The Wall

My soul hurts a bit tonight and I'm not sure why yet... that's not true, I have an idea...

But if I know me, and sometimes I do, it will come out before my fingers are done dancing across the keyboard... you might not know it, but I will have a glimpse of clarity... no matter how disturbing

I'm out of practice with this whole "blogging therapy" thing, so be patient.

I can feel something bubbling, just beneath the surface of consciousness, that will rip me to shreds.
I can hear something whispering, but not loud enough to comprehend.
I can taste something that lingers, it brings me to tears.
I can't see it yet... it's been hidden for years and years.
I need to figure this out before it swallows me whole.
But how do I address it without losing control?

I have these... moments... when if it's my idea, it's great... if it's not my idea, I hate it and after?... lately, I lose control, I can't help but break down; but he sees through my thick skin...

I'm a tough chick, I can take a lot of shit without losing it... I can take all these shitty moments and still keep it together. But he looks at me and can see right through The Wall.

I realize I'm not being specific here, and I don't find it necessary at the moment to be specific, so deal with it... suck it up buttercup, just like I do every day... this is MY blog, not yours. MY process. MY therapy.

That's all for now

:) have a nice day!