"I am consciously aware that I am unconsciously building a wall against what I fear could happen next, and I can't stop it."
~Jessica Jollotta (that is a direct quote from me, talking to myself, out loud, again...)
I've been studying Jessology with Awareness for roughly 6 years now and it has been a somewhat enlightening path. However, there is always the Voice that whispers sarcastically, "if you're so enlightened why do you still cause yourself such suffering?" Imagine the frustration that came with the realization that just acknowledging your habits or rituals is not enough to change them.
The Voice often asks important questions that should be addressed, but most of the time is a real ass hole... it seems to enjoy creating the illusion that there is a threat somewhere or compounding any negative thoughts which turn into unpleasant feelings which creates more negative thoughts and so on... the downward spiral. (we'll talk about the upward spiral another time)
It has been brought to my attention in recent months that, in all my self-studying, I failed to notice how much of an expert naysayer I had become; Ouch. **Keen eye, Ladd.** I wish you could see this! The Nopeology text is enormous! (It has every excuse you could imagine for not taking some kind of action. The expression "every excuse in the book" yeah, THAT book.) I'm carrying my copy of this obnoxious book around all the time! How do I not notice that I'm always using it?!
BUT there's this small pamphlet someone read to me once or twice that could turn Nopeology on it's ear with a few simple questions to squash any naysaying almost immediately. I need to get my hands on a copy of that little gem ;)
Okay, okay, I'm done with this foolishness.... for now
